Sunday, August 12, 2007

Does distance really make the heart grow fonder ?


This age old maxim has always invoked in me a deep sense of curiosity.Standing right now at the threshold of a new life in a hostel , I many a times allow a wave of nostalgia to sweep over me,about times in school , college ,my classes…and to think about it, with every step that I have taken I have made new friends, had strong ties with all of them and moved on. Some of these friends , well, even those who I have been with ever since I was a baby , have grown far apart.

Its like whenever I am in need of a support or a ear , I turn to those closest to me .I think distance diminishes a need to have that person around .When two people who are always together, separate, each one of them grows in a way oblivious to the other, slowly, needs , wants , experiences all of them change so much, people themselves seem to be different, that sometimes relating to the new individual infront of you is a difficult task, and then obviously,when you fail to recognize that person , the closeness ceases to exist.After all , we all want somebody who we can relate to.Now, here when I say relate to it doesn’t mean, that people agree on everything, its just basically being able to reach a level of understanding with each other where one person is capable of taking an insight of the person’s viewpoint, it means talking on similar topics, having discussions in which either person is equally involved , discussing out thoughts and opinions and the like .

How often have we failed to keep in touch with our best friend at school, with promises to keep meeting , and then again, even if we do keep intouch, is that relationship making a huge difference in our lives any longer ?Does it become anything little more than a formality?

When it comes to family , it’s a little different,there one doesn’t really have a choice .

I have been staying away from my parents for two years now , the first time I met them after moving out , I had changed such a lot , it was quite a bit of a task for them to fathom this new daughter of theirs ,but here, they had to accept me , the way I was. Once that initial acceptance occurs , its all roses again, but of course its mutual. At so many times in our life , haven’t we found the clashing of opinions with the previous generation ? More often than never has an argument ended in “lets agree to disagree”.

I think when it comes to friends, we have a choice whether to stick on to the same one or develop a closer bond with some one else , and the second option is a lot easier.Now I am not saying we’re sticking to our parents because we ain’t given this choice, I disagree with them on sundry issues , but its still their support and love that I bank on, but this understanding does arise only after very healthy arguments and an open and accepting atmosphere.

Even in families , as children grow, the people they have been closest to keep changing. At a certain age , the love and affection is most deeply felt for someone who’s thoughts and opinions you can relate to .

I think being able to bond with the thoughts of another person, or accepting a difference in them creates a good relationship between individuals .

We do tend to miss people when they move apart, more so of them becoming a habit in our lives than anything else, once they’re gone, we ,make new habits and tune our lives in another way, that only fond memories of the times spent together remain.However, now its more of developing a new friendship rather than reviving an old one ….

3 comments:

Rahul Khemka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rahul Khemka said...

HATS OFF to your creativity !!! you are simply good in putting your thoughts into words...genuinely adore your work...keep it up..!!

A half light said...

amen!
not a truer word :)